can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize