If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
