I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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