Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
