You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
