Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize