I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
