I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
