just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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