We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
