You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
