Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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