Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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