I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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