Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
