I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
