He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize