this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Operation Purity has been aborted
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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