I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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