he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
