you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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