Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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