Sponge bath it is.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
