Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
