i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
