There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
