Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
two words...techno handjob
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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