This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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