Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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