We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
