I want to make a zoo with you.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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