I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
