what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
