What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This is my gift to your gina
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
