i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
