i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
