Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
