with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
