OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
