I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
