Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
