Porn is love you can see.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
