You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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