What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
