I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
