I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
