11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
