You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
