I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
