Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
