He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i came on her dog
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
