I think im going to throw up on grandma
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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