I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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