butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
