my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The uberlube is also flammable
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
