see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
