ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
even my farts smell like vagina
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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