The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
