there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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