let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
