Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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