I can tuck mytits in my pants
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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