the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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